I am also sure it is safe to assume the latter deals with this topic much more often.
My husband and I have dealt with anything from inappropriate staring, dirty looks and even extremely rude comments.
.
Here is one that will always sting alittle, another that shows it just doesn't matter someone will always have something to say and finally one where I realized i'm starting to just not care.
#1, we were at the store and my then 3 year old was in a full blown meltdown. He has sensitivities to sounds and it just so happens as we were going through the parking lot a cars alarm went off. This in turn caused him to cover his ears and become way over stimulated.
A lot of the time once this happens he can not be calmed down. We just have to ride it out. this is what we did.. placed him in the cart still shrieking and kicking and just kept reassuring him that it was over the sound was gone and he was okay.
unfortunately we live in a world where other ADULTS feel that they can say whatever they feel like because obviously we had no idea how to parent our child "insert eye roll".
A grown man proceeded to walk by and say they need to just beat his a**. '
my husband replied hes autistic and some other profanity i'm sure.
here is the deal though with people who say things like this I have learned they do not care if there is a reason or not. In their mind you should be able to spank your child into behaving regardless.
#2 my mother and I were at lunch with both of the boys, They were happily playing on their tablets and my older son was occasionally talking with us.
Meanwhile I over heard the conversation from the table behind us discussing how terrible parenting we were showing by letting them have their tablets and how this is what is wrong with children these days.
(I give this occasion as a example of your damned if you do and damned if you don't) Had my boys not been on their tablets i'm sure a meltdown or two would have occurred, they just do not handle restaurants well without distractions.
#3 this one was very recent, we took all three boys to the beach! everyone had a great time and you would never know how my youngest had behaved when it was time to leave, from all the great smiling pictures we took lol.
He just did not want to go, I had already loaded up the back pack and had it on my shoulder when he took off trying to run from me. When I caught him I had one hand holding on to his arm and he went dead weight, trying to pull my hand/arm to his mouth to bite me. Knowing I was going to have to pick him up and lug him all the way back to the car, I was dreading it when he is like that. I pick him up he tries to scratch my face , hit me and throw my glasses.
eventually I had a grasp on him and we trotted along. during all this there were two younger women laughing and whispering to each other. mentally I took note, emotionally I just didn't have any energy to spare on it.
The thing is from the first time someone stared/said something rude to this most recent time, I have went from being angry to being hurt. It still stings and at times yes I still get angry but really it just hurts. they don't see the awesome loving sweet boys that I see and know.
my hands are full when my children are melting down/struggling my main focus is neutralizing the situation or comforting them.
I always try to remind myself that they just have no idea, The only thing I wish is in those moments is that I could explain to them why... but also how truly loving and awesome my children are even though they have these moments of aggressive outburst. I wish I could explain how this may be hard for me but it is so much harder for them (imagine being so out of control emotionally that you lash out and can not calm down , imagine how that feels) I want to explain that they are not "bad" this is just part of the disorder and we are making strides as it was worse at different times.
I would ask them to try to be compassionate and understanding...
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